"Our emotions need to be as educated as our intellect. It is important to know how to feel, how to respond, and how to let life in so that it can touch you." —Jim Rohn

September 07, 2010 10:20 pm Tuesday

"Our emotions need to be as educated as our intellect. It is important to know how to feel, how to respond, and how to let life in so that it can touch you." —Jim Rohn

I just came across the above quote while visiting a friend's FB homepage today and well, it just struck a chord. So, I put this up as my status ... and now am putting this in my blog as I want as many people as possible to read this and understand its import.

Though all of us today claim to be civilized and educated people living in a civilized world ... what strikes me as weird and ironical is that we often tend to do those things which we normally don't want/like others to do to us. Maybe we all need to re-learn the lessons that we had learnt during our childhood..."One should do unto others as s/he would like them to do unto her/him!" All too often the very same people who complain that they have been hurt, humiliated or embarrassed - mind you, these are their feelings and they might not always be true - end up doing the same things, at times going to a greater extent - to others.

I really wonder as to why these people have such selfish and blown-out-of-proportion egos ... why do they always think things have to be about them, even when they aren't? Anyways I seem to be digressing here...this wasn't about conceited individuals...

Rather this write-up was to remind people as well as myself that there are certain norms and acceptable ways of expressing one's emotions, responding to uncomfortable situations instead of just behaving in any particular way we want to! When we react to perceived insults/hurt..we really need to remember that what we perceive might not always be true and furthermore, even if it is true..we need to think twice before reacting ... because this thinking capability is what separates us from animals...and if we tend to always react reflexively like they do, then we have no right to be called humans! Just like we have emotions and feelings that do get hurt, it won't hurt to remember that so does the other person in front of us. And repeating bad behavior (if it was really bad in the first place) doesn't make one a greater human, rather it just goes to show that his/her ancestors were really apes....:-P

Anyways..bonne nuit everybody...gotta go now...enough of ramblings for tonite....:-)

Muslims, Islam and Terrorism

August 18,2010 10:00 pm

I am not much of an authority on Islam or on terrorism. But yes, the very mention of these 2 terms in the same sentence raises my shackles! Well, not because I believe all Muslims are peace-loving and harmless, but because those who call themselves Muslims and indulge in such derogatory and filthy acts are far removed from what the Holy Book, the Quran says or the religion 'Islam' preaches.

With my limited knowledge and understanding, I will refrain from quoting various sources and ayahs from the Quran. Rather the point I will try to make is that terrorists ... those who murder, plunder and kill without any valid rhyme or reason...do not belong to any religion, race or creed. Theirs is a twisted frame of mind, one that knows no logic or rationale...rather it is driven by thoughts of unnecessary hatred and intention to spread evil and chaos! To me, these terrorists are nothing but those individuals who are under the influence of Satan and love creating and sustaining an atmosphere of fear, hatred, violence, evil, suspicion, and discord. What the terrorists claim to do in the name of religion, has absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with it!

Religion commands love, mercy and peace. Terror, on the other hand, is the opposite of religion; it is cruel, merciless and demands bloodshed, murder and misery. This being the case, the origins of a terrorist act should be sought in disbelief rather than in religiousness. The origins should be sought in fascist, communist, racist or materialist outlook on life. The name or the identity of the trigger-man/suicide-bomber is not important. If he can kill innocent people without blinking an eye, then he is an unbeliever, not a believer. He is a murderer with no fear of Allah, whose main ambition is to shed blood and to cause harm. For this reason, "Islamic terror" is an erroneous concept which contradicts Islam's message. The religion of Islam by no means countenances terror. On the contrary, terror (i.e. murders committed against innocent people) in Islam is a great crime and Muslims are responsible for preventing these acts and bringing peace and justice to the world.

To understand what moves these terrorists, what force propels them to act in the irrational and inhuman manner that they do, one needs to understand their thoughts and the factors that strongly induce such unrealistic and unacceptable behaviors in them! One of the most important characteristic of terrorists is that they act with a collective spirit. Within this spirit, individual ideas and personal choice are disregarded as everyone is directed toward one single goal. Those who act within this collective spirit may do things they would never do in their right mind and commit acts without using their own will and consciousness. In many countries of the world, terror groups composed of a few unintelligent and uneducated people get caught up in the emotional hysteria of mass meetings, slogans, and without even knowing what they are doing or why, they get involved in committing mass atrocities. In one moment, such people can turn into killers with blood on their hands, and even terrorists who are able to commit inhumane acts. A person may seem quiet and calm when he is alone, but when he becomes a part of a terrorist group, he may become capable of committing acts of arson and assault for no apparent reason. Such spells are cast over individuals that they are even willing to be killed for their cause. The majority of those who take part in acts of terror often have weak wills and consciences, and they become like a flock of sheep under the influence of mass psychology. Good sense and judgment are substituted by excessive and extravagant emotionalism and a tendency toward violence and aggression. Such people are easily provoked, intolerant and know no limitation set by any law. The error of this mass psychology is revealed in our Holy Book - the Qur'an where it says that human beings must act according to their own will and intelligence. And this is exactly what the terrorists don't do!

While Islamic morality envisions a life filled with peace, well-being, love and joy for all people, terrorism longs for a society where violence, fear, anxiety and chaos reign.

All believing Muslims the world over have unitedly condemned the 9/11 attacks in USA. But the tragedy remains that most of the Western World as well as countless others the world over, hardly let an opportunity go by without taunting and harassing innocent Muslims over 9/11 and numerous other bombing incidents. Islam denounces terrorism and so do its believers!

It's high time for the civilized world to wake up to this fact and accept it unconditionally that Islam is not terrorism and those who embark on this heinous path have nothing to do with the religion, its doctrines, its philosophy.

In loving memory of my Daddy

They are not dead,
Who leave us this great heritage of remembering joy.

They still live in our hearts,
In the happiness we knew, in the dreams we shared.

They still breathe,
In the lingering fragrance, windblown, from their favorite flowers.

They still smile in the moonlight’s silver,
And laugh in the sunlight’s sparking gold.

They still speak in the echoes of the words we’ve heard them say again and again.

They still move,
In the rhythm of waving grasses, in the dance of the tossing branches.

They are not dead;
Their memory is warm in our hearts, comfort in our sorrow.

They are not apart from us, but part of us,

For love is eternal,
And those we love shall be with us throughout all eternity

I love you Daddy and I miss you...we all miss you!

Daddy, now that you are no longer here with us...

Instead of shedding tears regretting that you are gone,
I choose to smile because you lived.
Though I close my eyes and pray that you somehow come back,
I have learnt to open my eyes and see all that you've left.

Instead of feeling empty within because I can no longer see you,
I choose to be full of the love that we shared.
Rather than turning my back on tomorrow and living for yesterday,
I choose to be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.

I can't help but think of you and feel horribly sad that you are gone
But I will always cherish your memory and let it live on,
Though I often cry and want to close my mind, and turn my back (to the world),
I will do what you would have wanted me to ... smile, wipe my eyes, love and go on.

I miss you Daddy ♥ ...more than words can ever express...and I wish I could have you back...somehow, anyhow....

Masked facets of my own self!

July 21, 2010 Wednesday 11:00 pm

I wear so many masks, that I have forgotten what I look like. One mask for my family, one for my friends, and one for the world. I don't know how I feel anymore. I stopped feeling a long time ago. I fear what would happen if I let myself feel again. I know my finely crafted masks would shatter and then you would see what I really look like. My eyes only offer a glimpse at the turmoil and pain raging within, but not everyone can read my eyes …

To be or not to be....MAD & Fuming!

July 18, 2010 11:10 pm

Last week was one of the most shittiest week I ever had in quite some time! And the worst part was that despite not being responsible for any of the goof-ups that happened, I was literally cast into the middle of the storm! What a week it was! Moreover to add the icing on the cake, I also had to deal with the temper tantrums of a delusional middle-aged guy! And that was the straw that broke the camel's back...and I let go of all my pent up frustration, anger and god knows what else!!!

Now looking back on the events of last week, I can't help but chide myself for losing my cool and giving that delusional creature ample scope to feel that he's important enough to piss me off! Oh, okay ...guess I am still mad..hmmmm...well to be honest, I guess I will remain mad and angry and mad at that creature till something else comes up :-P Ah...well...that's the way I am. Can't forgive or forget...ever! But well....twasn't my fault in the first place.

There are certain categories of people who I've always had low tolerance for...and it seems that with each passing year, my patience jst seems to be running lower and lower!

First on my intolerable list...are people who are so thick-headed that they can never accept their mistakes and take things forward from there. I mean, well come on guys...everyone makes mistakes...and well no one learns till s/he makes a mistake and accepts and then tries to rectify it. But, no...this logic just doesn't (or maybe they won't let it) make any sense to such pompous people...they believe they can never make mistakes and well...anyone who dares to say or point out such things, ought to have his/her head bitten off ...well...sth aka...the Queen's rant in Alice in Wonderland...'Off with her head!'!!! Just can't bear this lot!

Next on my hit-list are individuals who have absolutely no sense of what their limits are! Yes people...i just CAN'T tolerate guys and gals who cross their limits!

Then on the list are perennial liars who lie without any particular rhyme or reason. In fact many a times, I have seen these people lying through their teeth just for the heck of it!

Though there are some more who would have been mentioned in this list..well...I will refrain from doing so at the moment cos I just don't want my BP levels to crash through the ceiling! Even without thinking of them, my nerves are already shot!

So ciao for now...till I write in again!

An ode to my Daddy

My father's death came as an absolute shock to me; his unexpected death "knocked me for a loop" as they say. I think of daddy almost every day and all through the day as memories that I thought were long forgotten come to life again. It happened again as I set down to write this down. I thought that I would write about the time when I used to wake him up and ask him to rock my son, his beloved grandchild to sleep, while I completed my quota of the much-needed beauty sleep; or write about those days when he was our Mummy too as Ma had come over to Dhaka to visit my granny; or of the time when he had his first stroke, also the first time that I realized my daddy was also human and could feel pain and suffering; or the time when my son was born and daddy became self-appointed nanny – not only for the baby but also for me :-D….too many memories…some just too painful to even pen down here….

After daddy passed away, there were times when I was overcome with sorrow and regret, I still am. But I have to take care of the living now, my son and my mother and so I go on.

I can’t say the usual stuff that you hear people often say as to what a great man so and so was in eulogies and such. My father was not a great man, but he was a good man, a complex man and a flawed man. He was very generous, was always there for my mom, sister and myself and when he was healthy he lived his life fully. He loved my mother, my sister and me as much as he knew how. He was also at times hot headed, impatient, and undisciplined.

He always tried to be the best dad possible. He tried to fulfill each and every wish of his family and often unreasonable demands put forth by yours truly. He loved cooking and would spend most of his time at home cooking up delicious and scrumptious treats for us. For him, we were everything – he would never think twice before sacrificing his own desires, wishes and wants to fulfill some selfish need of his kids (especially me, cos my younger sis has always been the mature and reasonable one in the family)! He loved helping out strangers, and was often naive to take people’s words at their face value.

The last ten years were not good ones for my Dad. He suffered from multiple ischemic strokes, resulting in severe health complications in the form of diabetes mellitus and hypertension, both of which were aggravated due to his allergy to doctors and medical institutions – and he was always uncomfortable :-( He didn't keep his body in great shape and it started to fail him. He went from ayurvedic to homeopathy to herbal therapy to god knows what else - in the hope of finding some miracle cure to recapture his youth, strength and vigor and when this did not happen, he fought depression. In the end he was not even able to eat properly and had to suffer the further indignity of suffering from incontinence. We thought we still had years to go and in the end we found that we had only hours.

I realize now, long after his death, that my daddy was an amazing man. They say that most children go through a stage of feeling superior to their parents, a condition to which Mark Twain once quipped, “When I was a boy of 14 my father was so ignorant that I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in only 7 years.” My father’s expansive talents never afforded me such illusions. I knew that I never measured up to him.

As a child growing up, I held two immutable facts about my father:

1) He was the strongest man alive.

2) He contained a genetic repository of all the world’s knowledge and wisdom.

While my own strength has grown, and my knowledge expanded, my respect and amazement for my father’s wisdom remains unchanged. I still look inside myself and wonder do I share his gifts of generosity, farsightedness, giving without holding back and affecting change in a world today much different than my daddy’s era? Does my son ever think of me as I did of daddy – an individual of courage and love?

My father wasn’t afraid to be himself and taught me how to be independent. He let me lead when I felt strong, and forged ahead when I was too scared. He taught me how to ride a bike, make an omelet, prepare scrumptious pasta and plant a garden. He taught me to stick to my beliefs and see them through.

My father unconditionally put his family first and modeled unceasing selflessness.

THAT was my father, my Daddy … ♥

Today since morning I have been thinking of this soliloquy to Hamlet:
To be, or not to be: that is the question: Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep;
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to, 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to sleep;
To sleep: perchance to dream:

Daddy, I hope you are sleeping and no longer in pain or suffering and if you do dream I hope your dreams are of a daughter who misses you dearly each day and always tried to give you her unconditional love, though she often failed. I love you Daddy and I am sorry that I couldn’t do much to ease your pains and your sufferings or even tell you properly how much I loved you.

Dhaka - land of opportunities or tribulations?

June 11, 2010                                                 Dhaka                                                                   10:33 pm

Dhaka. Yes, today she is going to be the topic of my blog.

I have often wondered as to what is it about Dhaka that her detractors despite criticizing her 24/7, still can't resist the charms of the city, and keep coming back for more and more? Many a foreigner has whined and cried about the ills of the city - the traffic situation, the dearth of public transport, the insecurity of life while traveling in the green CNGs (baby taxis so called because they run on CNG gas as fuel), the lack of sophistication amongst the common man on the streets, the humid and sweltering heat of summer, the pools of dirt and muck lying around in every nook and corner during the rainy season, the ever-rising prices of essential commodities, the bad habit of distorting foreign names of brands/shops/stores and trying to pass it off as the original (!), ... and ... well, the list is endless. I could just go on and on and on.... But that's not the main issue that I want to talk about today, so before I digress further ... let's move on to the main point..which was ... with so many problems, WHY do some people keep returning to this place time and again??? 

Is it because this city with all its negativity, still holds some positive attractions for them? Is it because these very foreigners are valued more here than they would ever be in their own countries? Could the reason possibly be that a handful of dollars go a long way here? Or maybe it is the prestige, respect and status accorded to their lighter and fairer skin color? Yes, dear reader, u read me right...here in Bangladesh and not only in Dhaka but nationwide, a lighter, fairer skin tone accords you an enviable esteemed position cos Bangladeshis (and most people from the developing nations) are often suckers for white skin! {Anyways, here I digress again!}. Mind you, I am not talking about the white skin acquired by using Fair & Lovely and similar beauty creams, but the skin tone acquired as a natural deficiency of melanin :-D And here one thought that S.Asians had eventually been freed from the effects of the British Rule!!!

Anyways, Dhaka is one such place where simply being a foreigner (often with a lighter skin tone) is enough to guarantee you awe and admiration from most quarters. This is highly evident in the discrepancy of remuneration (in almost all sectors) amongst equally qualified incumbents...where the only difference is usu. in the origin and nationality! Even in cases where the local incumbent may be more qualified and a better contender, s/he is often surpassed by the foreign candidate...because having a foreigner as an employee is presumed to add more value and esteem to the organization (!)

I know what you might be thinking right now, that poor lil me might have had to bear the brunt of being a non-foreigner and  hence the rambling....well dear friend (or foe :-P) sadly (for you) nothing as dramatic has happened yet in my own life, but what irks me and eventually led to this blog today is .... the constant criticism and derision evident in the musings/acts/behaviors of the foreigner, while s/he goes about enjoying all that the city has to offer them in terms of respect, status, facilities, admiration, blah, blah, blah...and all because they don't belong here. And instead of being thankful for all this, what do they do in return for the city - shout out their disdain and make a complete mockery of her short-comings! So to all such people out there ... to earn respect you have to learn to give respect, and despite what you might think, there are still many people out there who CAN and DO see through your idiosyncrasies and often tend to ignore it, not because they approve of it, but because they think U R JUST NOT WORTH THE EXPLANATION! So please, if Dhaka bugs you so much, then LEAVE...no one's stopping you ... except you yourself :-D  

And just for the record, all you people out there reading this, kindly refrain from assuming that I am in love with Dhaka, because in reality I am not. However unlike certain others, I don't believe in putting the city down ever chance I get, cos I know that a'int cool or even justified! Despite all her negative aspects, there are many good things too that Dhaka has to offer - but one needs eyes, common-sense and the capability to feel and acknowledge gratitude to figure that out :-P

Recollection of Memories...or Mindless Ramblings???

May 30, 2010, 11:00 pm, Dhaka                                  

Sitting here, in front of my laptop, I just can't find a suitable topic to write about! Nothing to be surprised about, such things usually happen to me...first,  the uncertainty as to how to start and then the major problem of figuring out how to end it!
 
Anyways, my wandering mind just happened on some memories...memories of days gone by years ago. At times, it seems like not just one but several lifetimes have passed since I left the Middle East. It's been exactly 12 years since I first arrived in this country, a land which my folks called 'home' and one which I still have problems relating to :-( However, the whys and hows of my predicament of feeling like a stranger in my parents' homeland is sth I might talk about in some other post, some other time.

Moving on to the lives that I seem to have left behind...well, first in line comes my childhood, spent in Naif Road. I can still smell the fragrance of fresh pastries ..aaahhhh...no prizes for guessing, but there was a pastry shop right next door :-D And how can I forget the uncle in the furniture shop downstairs, who used to treat me like his own kid. Have a lot of fond memories of the times spent with him...I still remember how much I used to feel irritated if someone addressed me as TUM / तुम, and so he used to always talk to me in English :-P Was such a snob...and maybe still am :-D at least that's what people 'not-so-close' to me usually have to say :-P Well, life back in those days consisted of going to school early in the morning, attending classes taught by fabulous teachers, coming back home, watching cartoons on chanel 33..my fav were Rainbow Brite and Care Bears :-D ... doing homework, being fed by mom and so on...

Then came the pre-teens and teens...and I think i was an absolute jerk during those years!  Instead of enjoying life and appreciating all the good things that God has bestowed on me...I spent all those great years of my life aspiring to be what I never was and never could be! I went on crash diets, binge-eating sprees, tried to learn make-up (which is SOOOO not my cup of tea), ignored some really good friends and started hanging around with people with whom I had ABSOLUTELY NOTHING in common! Got into some really shady activities/past-times(!!!) and well just made a COMPLETE MESS of a lot of things. However, as they say TRUE FRIENDS are always there for you, and I did have the good sense to forge some friendships that are going strong till date :-D   

After appearing for the class XII exams, we (my folks mainly, I had no say) decided to move over to Bangladesh...their own country and the golden land aka Sonar Bangla ... but my heart, soul and a part of me stayed back there...living through my friends, and only recently through Facebook was I able to get reacquainted with those buddies of mine :-D And thus opened the floodgates of memories...however, this post does absolutely no justice to all the good times that I had, spent sharing and caring with my dear friends, instead it loses this very essence in its attempt to be factual!!!

Oh well...life goes on..and so its is for me too :-D Slumber time for me...shabba khair, shubh ratri and GOD BLESS!

Taking baby steps into the world of blogging!

29th May 2010, 11:55 pm, Dhaka

Have been seeing the 'blogging fever' on an ever-rising high since the last couple years, but never really thought that one day I would also have a blog of my own! But today, when my social lifeline (aka Facebook) was cut off brutally by the telecommunications regulatory body of the country, I had no other option but to wander around in search of entertaining stuff on the net. And it this search, that eventually brought me to this BLOGGING site and I decided to open up an account of my own :-D

So guys, yes FB has been officially blocked/banned in Bangladesh, though no-one's coming right out and explaining why! Well, this is Bangladesh...and people like me are quite used to such unexplained happenings...though the human mind still wonders why and can't help trying to find out and assign reasons for such an occurrence. To cut a long story short...currently there are two stories doing the rounds...one version reasons that the site has been banned because of certain anti-state activities of someone using a pseudo-account on FB, while the other version is strongly trying to link the ban here with the recent FB ban in Pakistan! Who knows whats the truth and well, my question is 'would it matter?' Well, for people like me who basically live, eat, breathe, drink, sleep via Facebook, what matters is that their social life is no longer there! I know I am being hyper and going overboard in my reactions, but well what would one expect my reactions to be...when in this age of freedom of communication and expression...we are being cut off from the rest of the world! Though I am sure many would like to argue just for the sake of it, for me FB is an essential medium to be in touch with the hundreds of people who are/have been a part of my life (past, present, what does it actually matter?) and without it I feel so....alone!

Though the ban has not been able to prevent me from accessing FB (haven't u heard of the saying...'where there's a will, there's a way!') ... it still irks me to be doing it on the sly and not the usual, normal way! I have been receiving a number of mails in my FB inbox asking me as to how do I manage to do it (and these are mails from people outside Bangladesh)...and I really don't know if I should tell or not. On one hand, I am tempted to tell them all and then on the other, I wonder as to whether they are really that naive as not to know! Confusing, right?

Anyways, have to call it a day today and try to go to sleep, cos I have to wake up at 6:00 am sharp. So ciao buddies, hope to see u soon (dunno if I can make blogging a regular daily habit or not, only time will tell if this will be my one and only blog OR if more will follow it :-D )...so for now... good night, bonne nuit, buenas noches, शुभ रात्रि !